When I was younger, I was a ballet dancer.
Not a six year old in a tutu, but an eighteen year old with a passion and a drive (and shin splints and blisters like the devil and a diet that consisted largely of Rice Krispies and Diet Coke.)
Come close and I will tell you a little secret . . .
I was never good enough.
It was one of the first of life’s hard-knock lessons: there is good, and then there is good enough-the better than good, the ones who succeed.
When I stopped dancing at the age of 22, one of my biggest regrets was that I would never dance a particular part, from a particular ballet, that had always been my dream.
Seven years later, I now know that I have still been preparing for that performance, despite the fact that I haven’t set foot in a ballet studio in years. I am preparing in a more important way. I am preparing my heart.
What is the part I am preparing to dance?
I know. God knows. And I believe with every shred of my being and every breath that I take that I will someday stand before Him, and dance that part. I will be finally good enough, better than good, for I am His.
I believe that heaven is real and that we will rejoice in it someday. I believe I will dance. What about you? Will you sing? Will you be healed? Will you finally find sweet rest?
Sometimes life is muddled and foggy and you mourn what you feel is lost, but take heart, for it is merely a delay.
For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality {and} face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know {and} understand fully {and} clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully {and} clearly known {and} understood [by God]. 1 Corinthians 13:12 (Amplified)
So if this is your view today, don’t lose hope . . .
Because look at the beauty to come, when all is made clear . . . 
Whatever your “dance,” I know you will be rejoicing right along with me.
Look for me . . . I will be the one in constant motion . . . the one in the flowing sparkling dress . . .
Hi,
I just wanted to say hello! I peek in here every now and then and do love your blog! Congratulations on the baby! I have always loved that verse, because it is so filled with hope!
Tamara
Oh my goodness, this is beautiful and exactly what I need to put on repeat in my head. Because I know all of this, but sometimes I can’t convince myself that it is true.
Lovely post! I was a dancer too…took a little break after 9th grade to cheer and then danced some in college too. I miss it, and hope my girls will want to dance.
Some days I wonder what my “role” besides Mommy will be. Still waiting….
🙂
beautifully said.
beautiful post…..
You have left me in tears with the beauty and truth of this post!
I never worried about dance, but writing, and still not feeling quite “good enough” I am pressing through NaNoWriMo this year. He has a book He wants me to write, even if I don’t know what it is yet.
Erin,
What a beautiful post! I do think of heaven a lot, especially since Mom passed away. She is there! It blows me away. It makes heaven even more real to me.
While you are dancing, I will be counting all the beautiful jewels that my mom has in her heavenly crown. (She used to tell us as kids, and adults, that everything we did for God here on earth would be like a beautiful jewel in our heavenly crown.)
I cannot tell you how much I CAN NOT WAIT to be HOME!
Blessings,
Traci
p.s. I am not surprised at all that you used to be a ballerina. It fits you perfectly!
Wow.. so beautiful and heart felt. I too was in ballet for 18 years. I know EXACTLY how you feel… the not being good enough. Oh and the diet of diet coke and rice krispies. Everything you said, is right on. Thanks for the reminder about the real dance.
I was a dancer too…and I was awful. I was the tallest girl in my class and terribly awkward. Thank you for reminding me about the real dance that we are preparing for during our time on earth.
What a lovely post and it is exactly where I am this week. You remind me of myself when I was a very young mom. You will be one soon. I praise God for such a lovely young woman you are. Linda
Very nicely written. Thanks for the reminder.
When we can imagine, with our limited minds, what awaits us, all “this” doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Lovely post.
Ridiculously beautiful. I burst out into tears when you wrote you would stand before God and finally feel good enough. This is so beautiful and so true. I love this post more than you could ever know.