I walk the halls with my baby in the night. I walk halls where the hardwood floor squeaks and moonlight seeps through the secret words I whisper in his tiny ear. Mother and child, we walk this hall together, our love thicker than the darkest black of the night sky. We are unsearchably deep, my boy and me.
His sleeper is soft fleece and his tiny fingers, slightly damp grasp my neck, my hair, my mama heart, adoring. His tears fall warm and he sighs deep heaving sighs. I shush and I bounce, I pat and I keep walking these halls, one barefoot step in front of the other. And when nothing else seems to calm, I begin to hum and the music of our song fills the hall. And like any mother, if it would make all wrongs right, I would gladly sing and sing and keep on singing, to soothe this babe I love, to say the things that words cannot. And because he knows my voice and he knows our song, those heaving sighs give way to the silence of ears listening, to comfort and then slowly, ever so slowly, my sweet baby begins to dream. One chubby cheek upon my shoulder, squished and delightful, he is mine and I am his. I lay him in the crib and I memorize every detail I can of this little life. Blonde hair, black lashes, rosebud lips. I store all the details of him away in a place where they are safe and cannot be erased.
For he will grow and forget.
But I will age and remember.
We are unsearchably deep, my boy and me.
I love these words. They express what is in my heart for my sweet boy who will be 2 in a few weeks. Thank you!
Yes, such beautiful words. My baby boy is 31 and I still feel that soft sleeper and chubby cheeks against my shoulder via memories.
Erin, such beautiful words! You always have a way of transporting me to your experience and making me feel like I’m right there with you-as every great writer can do. 🙂 I was reflecting on what you shared here as I look down at my baby bump. I have my first baby on the way and I cannot wait to walk the halls at night and treasure every moment made together with my little one.
Karla!!! Congrats my friend!! I am so thrilled for you!
So beautiful!!! I’m expecting my third baby in mid June…a boy…and I can’t wait for those nights spent bonding with my little one. Thanks for sharing the moment with us!
This is, quite simply, one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read, and certainly one of the most beautiful things about motherhood that has ever been written. Bravo. You’ve gained a fan. (not that you needed another one, I’m sure) May God give you even greater JOY in your mothering as the years go by.
Yours in Christ,