Little Girl Grown up

This July, we bought our beach cottage in the small hometown where I spent my childhood.  I spent thirteen years away, growing into an adult.  Everything my child eyes once saw and knew here, that child, now returned, recognizes.  She remembers.

Here, I am two versions of myself in the same five minute time span.  I walk downtown past the same mom and pop stores that I knew in my childhood.  I am seven years old and wondering if my mom will hand me a cherry lollipop from the bank teller if I sit quietly and don’t squeak my shoes on the marble floor.  Then a little boy with my same brown eyes takes my hand and whispers “mama” and I am 31, a little girl all grown up.   The adult I have become walks alongside the girl who once was. 

I ache to tell her all the things I wish I had known. 

Curly hair is beautiful.  Really, it is.  I know it is different but, really, that is a good thing.

She runs her small child fingers across my stomach.

Stretch marks aren’t so bad, she says.

I struggle to believe her.

You get to be a mommy,  She breathes in wonder.

 

Don’t fear, I tell her in return, for He is with you. 

Fear not, for He has overcome the world.  

She nods understanding.  Her eyes dark solemn.  On tip toe, she encourages in return.  Reminding  me of things I once knew:

He’s got your whole world in his hands.

And it is then I realize that perhaps I have traveled 13 years and thousands of miles to discover I knew the most important thing all along.  Before I allowed the lies of a broken world to teach me a new song.

So today I sing along with her.:

He’s got you and he’s got me in His hands,
He’s got the whole world in His hands . . .

Together we teach it to our little boy and  I thank her for meeting me here.

I am proud of you, she says.

You are lovely, I say.

And for today, we believe it.

images via here and here.

13 Comments

  1. What a beautiful post. Yes, sometimes it takes coming full circle to realize what truly matters most we already have.

  2. I loved “And it is then I realize that perhaps I have traveled 13 years and thousands of miles to discover I knew the most important thing all along. Before I allowed the lies of a broken world to teach me a new song.” I think about this daily as I face lies and as I raise a little man to listen to the truths of God and not culture.

  3. so true.
    how many times I go to see my parents just 45 minutes away and the little girl in me shows up.

    I’ve had to teach the little girl in me a lot of things in the past several years…..

  4. I think this is beautiful. Thank you, dear women, for holding onto absolute truths and teaching your children to love God and walk in His paths. You are an inspiration to me and give me hope for when I’m a mother someday.

  5. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. I love this, like I love every single thing you post. Thank you for sharing the gift of writing that God has given you.

  6. wow! are you collecting these writings to put in a book? very sweet, simple, to the point, succinct, etc. love it! LOVE IT! you touch the heart of it!!!
    thank you!
    katie

  7. I’ve been away from your blog for a while and forgot how incredibly beautiful it is! What an amazing story.

  8. This is so sweet! I love that you picked thad picture of the mother and daughter touching their belly, I used it too while ago when I was pregnant!
    Stretch marks aren’t that bad, they remind me how I felt, like this picture does!

  9. Erin, your writing is as beautiful as every. I know I’ve told you before but you are truly gifted as a writer, perhaps we’ll see a book one day? ;) I’m so glad you’re enjoying your new beach house and Wynn.

    XO
    Karla

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