Just Write.

Today, instead of deciding what to write and whether it’s interesting enough or whether I have a picture to make it pretty enough, I am just going to write. Baby is napping, I’ve reheated this morning’s coffee and if I don’t hit the keys on the keyboard too loudly I will probably have a good hour to do just that.

Are you with me? My apologies ahead of time for the randomness that is to follow.

1. I am flabbergasted at the number of people who read this blog. I’ll pull up the blog to see when my last post was published and when it’s been a few days and I look down and see 623 smiling faces waiting for the next post,I get a bit of blog-freight. Or writers block. Or some of both. This of course not counting reader subscribers and there are even more of them, but thankfully, I can’t actually see them, so I pull a Scarlet O’Hara and just ignore. And then there are the times when I have 623 followers on Monday and 622 come Tuesday and I will think, “gosh, what’d I say?” πŸ™‚ Also, I subscribe to several blogs by email, written by mothers of 5, 6, or 7+ children. These moms blog several times a week! I’m clearly a rookie mommy. Don’t tell Wynn. I don’t think he has figured this out yet.

2. We have had nasty thunderstorms the past week. One included a tornado warning, tornado siren, sitting in the basement with a weather radio listening to the broadcaster tell us that a tornado was estimated to touch down a few miles from our house. Everything is scarier as a mom. I wondered if the other moms in our area would join me in running head-on into a twister if it would change its trajectory and spare our children. Luckily, we survived without any damage. A storm two nights ago ended with a double rainbow across the sky.

3. I love Wynn so much it makes my heart physically ache. I miss him when he is napping and at night when he is sleeping. Sometimes I giggle or talk too loud on purpose hoping he will wake up and I can have a few more minutes with him or a second chance to rock him to sleep. Mr. Marvelous calls me out on this. He knows my game.

4. I understand the raw nature of a mother lion protecting her cubs. Motherhood is like life electrified.

5. Being a parent has me spending a lot of time thinking of God as a parent. For instance, it must be so tough to have your little one go off to school or be around other children and be bullied or teased. Sometimes I will stop and recognize a person, anyone, like a cashier at a gas station or a prostitute on the news as someone’s baby. I wonder how God handles the heartache given that we are all his children. I am glad I am not God. I wouldn’t last five minutes.

6. Abraham and Isaac?!? My faith feels like a mustard seed compared to Abraham’s faith. I’m thankful that a mustard seed is enough.

7. My husband is an incredible man. I pray that I will be a blessing to him and that God will lead me to be a good wife and partner. I think he is a better spouse than me? I wonder if he feels the same way. This week we stood outside on our front porch with Wynn looking at this incredible sunset-rosy red and orange-just beautiful. Mr. Marvelous said “look Wynn, that is God.”

7. He is awake.

8. I’m typing even more gently now . . . maybe he will nod back off. Wynn still naps best in the laundry room with the dryer running. I wonder if that will still be the case when he is five years old. Rookie-Mom syndrome again.

9. Nope he is up for good, so I am off.

10. Life is beautiful. Just look for it. πŸ™‚

Be blessed,

18 Comments

  1. It’s true. My husband and I say the same thing-that we love our son so much it hurts. We also do things to “wake him up” because we want to hold him or play with him. Oh bliss…

  2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Erin. No picture needed. πŸ˜‰ I understand how you feel about blogging. Even when I first started out, I was amazed that 10 people cared enough to come back to see what I had written next. Now with just over 200, I’m still amazed and seeing those smiling faces and receiving such wonderful, heartfelt e-mails as to how what I’ve written has bettered their life, makes me tear up and realize that all the time spent blogging is well worth it.

    So great to read one of your posts again!

    Warmly,
    Karla

  3. I SO understand what you mean by #4, 5, and 6…. with you completely. Great post.. love the randomness. Very real and honest.

    Have a great weekend!
    Melanie
    ~ melscoffeebreak.blogspot.com ~

  4. Hey lovely Erin, I’m glad you never gave in to the “stage fright” and wrote another beautiful heartfelt post! Yes, motherhood is such a powerful adventure. It leaves us changed FOREVER! And even more precious to have a strong relationship with your hubby to enjoy the adventure together. I’ve found my hubby to be the most stable pillar of strength to keep me grounded as a thousand and one emotions flood through me each day as I learn how to be the mommy God has called me to be.
    Sending you much love. Janine from loveinactionjourney.blogspot.com

  5. Erin,
    Words are quite enough…you write from your heart and it is felt deeply. I am enjoying hearing your words as a new mother. My girls are 16 and 20,and it brings back such memories. Glad you all were kept safe during the storms!

  6. I know how much you loved your little Wynn before he arrived. Isn’t it just amazing how much that was amplified when he arrived? And isn’t it surprising at how much sad or scary things affect you now – the threat of a dangerous storm, or news of a mother abandoning her child, or even worse, a terrible crime? I shudder at the thought of those things now that I’m a mom. I read that book The Shack before my son was born, and now I can’t even think about it or I well up with tears and get sick at my stomach wondering how I would survive if something happened to my child. You’re right, being a parent gives much perspective on God’s love for us. How blessed we are to have a God who loves us so and who gave so much so that we might dwell in closeness with Him.

  7. Your ramblings are beautiful! I really needed to read this. Life throws us all curves, we’ve just got to slow down, take it easy and enjoy the ride sometimes, even when their are speed bumps along the way.

    I miss my little guy that isn’t so little anymore. I remember when he was 3 months old and I had just gone back to work. One day I couldn’t wait to get home to him. All I wanted to do was cuddle and fall asleep with him in my arms. So I did just that. I wrapped my arms around him and curled up on the couch while he slept soundly with his head on my chest. Children are such blessings in our lives!

  8. so totally have to share – quickly, that is.
    William is playing on the floor, that’s right – totally army crawling ALREADY! and he reached under the couch to get the computer cord and I said no! to him and put it back under the couch and he (angel but human:) reached under there again to get the cord. So I clapped my hands loudly and with a stern voice said No! again and he totally puckered up with that beautiful frown like – oh man! trouble stinks πŸ™‚ Just had to share, it was our first discipline moment…

    Hugs to you my dear – so glad your loving being a mama!

    The Lady of the House

  9. I love this post. So genuine, so true, so honest.

    My babies are older and I’m STILL ELECTRIFIED! It’s an amazing journey!

    Thanks for the warm and fuzzy blog read!

Submit a comment

This site is protected by Comment SPAM Wiper.