When I was a little girl, my sisters and I had a snow globe with a snowman inside wearing a tiny cerulean scarf. Everything inside the glass was still and quiet until a vigorous shake from small hands sent the flecks of snow flying in a beautiful frenzy.
I remember the snow globe and its black velveteen bottom as I lay with my toddler boy tonight, his little frame, half asleep, cradled against my side. His heart, his beautiful little heart, is spinning inside this beautiful frenzy. There is a new baby in his house, a shift in his foundation.
Days ago I sat with him as he painted a picture with watercolors. Blues and violets bled together on a page of white.
“This is the sky, mama,” he says, pointing with his brush.
“It’s pretty, baby,” I answer halfheartedly, my attention in part on his newborn sister nursing in my lap.
“And this ,” he says painting a smudge of royal blue atop watery lavender clouds, “is God.”
My attention snaps to his paper. The room is now quiet and large, this moment set apart. My toddler boy leans over his art and whispers with conviction into the paper, “My mommy loves you, God.”
I pray for his beautiful heart tonight as I lay beside him. Everyone says this time will pass soon. The behavior that I see from him now, the separation anxiety and the anger, so contrary to the beautiful heart I know, will end. But while I wait on that calm to return, my child is hurting and my concerns and my own anxieties have me truly rattled.
I take it to the Lord in prayer, asking Him very simply for wisdom and discernment, according to His perfect will, in raising my three year-old and shepherding his heart. And then I let it go. I have earnestly sought the Lord in prayer and I am assured He will give me wisdom and discernment. He will help me. His Word promises me this. I believe His word. He will help me tomorrow.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
1 John 5:14
“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.* Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11
* “rest” in the original Greek of the New Testament is the word anapausis which translates: to keep quiet, of calm and patient expectation.
I rest tonight. Anapausis. My heart quiet and calm in patient expectation. I look up and let the proverbial snow fall and fall into a silent blanket of white. For this is our Lord, the Holy One of Israel, who hears the prayers of His children and who gives freely His peace and rest to all who believe and call on His name.