If you look at a pregnancy test long enough, turn it toward the light and squint your eyes, you can almost see that second pink line . . . even if it isn’t there.
I am convinced there are two types of women in this world: (1) those who are nodding their heads in complete agreement, and (2) everyone else.
I asked God for a baby for Christmas. A baby the size of a grain of sand was my wish. But the test was definitive. I turned it toward the light. I squinted. I could almost see it . . . but almost wasn’t enough. In the place of a second pink line there was a space of white emptiness. Do you know that space?
I spent advent weeks considering that vast whiteness; reconsidering it’s emptiness. God whispered truth to my heart: I asked God for a baby for Christmas and the test said no, but God said yes.
Two years ago, he said yes. And everyday since, I have felt his will in my little one’s grasp: ”yes, beloved, yes.” Oh how I longed for my baby Wynn. How I long for him still. An hour apart is too long. And tonight I rock my toddler boy beside the Christmas tree. I drink in the smell of his still-baby skin. I nuzzle his sweet neck. And like the creak of the rocker on old wood floor, the benediction I hear again is “yes . . . ” (rock). . . yes . . .”(rock) . . . yes.”
I look up to twinkling lights of a cottage Christmas tree, to the place where a westward–leading star belongs. I rock and snuggle him. My heart in worship “yes . . .”(rock) . . . ” yes . . . .” (rock) . . . yes. . . ”
Two thousand years ago, so very long before I prayed for a Christmas baby, the Lord answered my prayer. So great is He. So faithful. He knew that I would need a baby.
And so He came himself.
I asked God for a baby for Christmas. Listen and hear how great our God is. If you are a captive, run to Him and be set free. Whatever you are waiting for, it has already come in Christ Jesus.
“Are you there, my Lord?” I breathe into my toddler boy’s neck. And I rock . . . “Oh come, oh come, Emmanuel . . . ”
“Yes . . .” (rock) . . .”yes. . .” (rock) . . . “yes . . . “